The Great Pull-Up War: 1st Inning

The Great Pull-Up War

Nine Weeks

Nine Innings

Nine Contests

One Winner

OGDV threw this challenge at me like a 98-mph brushback fastball: to compete each week in various feats of strength involving that most excellent of exercises, the pull-up. What type of blarg would this have become had I not accepted? The type of blarg that I would not be proud to author, that's what type. And so, it was utterly on.

The Great Pull-Up War is simple. Each week, we decide on a task. The task may be to do as many pull-ups as possible in one attempt, or it may be to do as many as possible within a time limit or a number of attempts. The task may involve several different types of holds on a hangboard, or just crankin' on some jugs. However one slices it, it involves a metric hyper-ton of pull-ups.

And so, without further ado:

1st Inning Rules:

• Time Limit: 2 minutes
• Attempt Limit: 3 attempts
• Hold: Jugs
• Competitors in isolation

The Attempt Limit is how many times a competitor is allowed to touch the hangboard or bar.
To be in isolation is to be unaware of one's opponent's performance.


The event began with a coin flip. I called the coin flip correctly, and I decided to be the first man on the hangboard. Although the attempt limit was three for this inning, I had already decided that I would only touch the hangboard twice. My plan was to do almost as many as I possibly could on the first attempt; then, I would rest until 30 seconds remained and try to bang out as many as I could in that time.

Six hundred seve . . . PSYCH! Uh . . . One

I had done at least twenty before I dropped from the hangboard. I figured that with approximately one minute of rest, I could probably complete a good number more. Unfortunately, my body had other ideas! My second attempt was not nearly as strong, and so I left the arena with some trepidation. I knew that OGDV would bring the pain, hardcore, to the brain.

OGDV had decided that he would use all three of his attempts. Would this strategy make him the victor? Well, observant readers (by "observant" I mean, "readers with eyes connected to their brains") have already seen the scoreboard at the top of the post. So, out with the poorly constructed suspense!

One of these days, he's gonna bite that lip clean off.

In the end, not even the cutest spectator ever could spur OGDV to victory.

 Put me up there, Dad. Let me show you how it's done.

  The agony of defeat.

Of course, I'm not going to gloat or anything. The score was way too close for that. I have a feeling that OGDV is going to get up ins next time with a vengeance.

I'll leave you with these images from the card the victor received:

Photo credits:

• Baseball scoreboard (before I altered it): Jiří Sedláček
• Competition photos: Danielle Vennard a.k.a. Ziggy Smalls 

Special thanks to Ziggy Smalls for the card!